Funny Marriage Quotes that are more than hilarious

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Marriages are blessings of God, but funny marriage quotes are just for entertaining and wishing your beloved one in a classy manner, does not matter if you are making funny comments on wife or husband it looks always you are enjoying this great day with them. funny marriage anniversary quotes or wishing newlyweds, this collaboration is just amazing on funny marriage quotes.

Funny Marriage Quotes

”90 % of being married is just shouting’’ what’’ from other rooms”


”Don’t fight when you are tired or hungry”


”Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life’’


”My wife and I were happy for 20 years then we met”


”A healthy marriage is fueled by healthy communication”


”My wife just told me she understands the questions as to why but hates answering any of them.  Can

only try”


”I don’t know why people congratulate on marriage I think condolences is a better option.

On my marriage day”


”If your wife says go and sleep on a sofa instead bed, go and sleep please if u will wait, after some time you will be on floor”


”Marriage is like a deck of cards . all you need in the beginning is two hearts and diamonds. After 10 years you need a club and spade”


”If you want a happy life, keep your mouth shut and open your checkbook”


”The only thing which can make happy your wife is nothing”


”If your wife can not find anything about you in your phone, always type on google ‘’ my husband with girl’’


”Who says ‘’washing dishes is the responsibility of a wife, go ahead and wash them”


”Sometimes people say you can not live without marriage, I think oxygen is more important”


”Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and other is husband”


”Husband is the head of family and wife is the neck that turns the head around”


”My wife and I always compromise, I admit I am wrong and she agrees”


”In our marriage everything is 50/50 .i cook he eats, I wash he wears, I shop he pays”


”Behind every unsuccessful person, there is a successful wife”


”Make love, not war—– or marry,,,,, than you can do both”


”When a man opens a car for his wife, it is neither a new car or new wife”


”Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence”

want to read best BREAKUP STATUS


funny marriage status
Funny Marriage Status

Funny Marriage Quotes for newlyweds

”Marriage is like a spicy shwarma for newlyweds, always crazy for the first bite. these funny wedding quotes for newlyweds are just super amazing”


”I am going to get married again, but I am mature now and I need some kitchen stuff”


”Marriage is a workshop where the husband works and wife shops”

(Riaz Nasurallay)


”Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome”

(Jerry Sienfeld)


”Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him’’

(Marilyne Monore)


”If you want your wife listens to you then talk to another woman; she will be all on ears”


” I love being married, it is so great to find a special person, you want to annoy for the rest of your life”

(Rita Under)


”There are only three things women needs in their life, food water and compliments”

(Chris Rock)


”We were worried for better or worse, I could not have done better and she could not have done worse”


”An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have, the older she gets, the more interested he is in her”

(Agatha Christie)


”I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as husband.i have the dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon. and a cat that comes home late night”

(Marrie Correli)


”HUSBAND and WIFE, even a single alphabet is not repeated in them and going to live a whole life”


”Caring your wife is just a waste of time, she will never give you worth, care for other women, she will definitely give you worth”

Funny Marriage Jokes

You can not shout crazy jokes on your friend but funny texts with long jokes can amaze them even for newlyweds but it would be more amazing when two married couple share their experiences in-jokes.

”Marriage is a three-ring circus engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering”


”A chubby wife and tired husband went to a psychologist and asked how they can live a happy life, we fight every day, the psychologist said ‘’’ wife and husband are two tires of life,, husband contravened,’’ if one tire of the car and one of the tractor , what about this?”


”A man married with two ladies, he tried his whole life to give them everything equally, even the purchase bread , he cut them in two pieces , if he purchase shoes for one, same shoes for other, same dress for both, unfortunately, both of his wives died on the same day, he buried them and prayed, same night he dreamed, one of his wives was saying ‘’ while burying you stood 3.5 minutes on her grave while 3.4 minutes on my grave”


”When wife ask ‘’ do you think am gaining weight?,husband ‘’ no I think the room is getting smaller”

”How sounds these words, wife,  knife?”


Marriage jokes
Marriage jokes

Wedding Quotes funny wishes

”Marriage is all about given and take, more u will give, more he will take”


”Marriage is the combination of compromise and communication, she is doing communication and you should do compromise”


”A blind husband and deaf wife make a perfect couple”


”People say opposite attracts, then I will give u suggestion run faster and away from this attraction”


”From available to busy, from money to without money, from hairs to without hairs, think a hundred times if you want to marry”


”My friend stays happy all the time when he decided to marry”


”Marriage is when a man loses his bachelors degree and a woman gets her masters degree”


”In life, a jump comes which can make your life like a jail if you can pass this jump you are married if you don t you are married”

Funny wedding quotes
Wedding quotes funny wishes

Funny Wedding Quotes

”Children sleep early, mature sleep late, legends fight all night”


”Marriage is the bond btw person, who never remember anniversaries , and other who never forgets them”

(Ogden Nash)

”Marriage is a combination of two words, marry and age, enjoy when you are aged”


”A man is incomplete until he is married, after that he finished”

(Zsa Zsa garbor)


”I think a man who has a pierced ear, are better prepared for marriage, they have experienced pain and bought jewelry”


”Some people walk in our life and leaves footprints on our hearts, other walks into our lives and we want footprints on their face”


”Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures”


”On your first night, you both are afraid, but I let u know a man that is the only night she is afraid of you”


”My wife slept with makeup, and I don’t someone asked in morning with me”

wedding quotes funny wishes
Funny wedding quotes

Marriage Quotes Funny Positive

”People say, you were love at first sight, for me you are love at first swipe”


”’I love being get married, it is so great to find that one person, you want to annoy for the rest of your life”


”A state has less power than the power of wife”


5 years I forced my wife to marry me, how much time I should force her to leave me?


”Marriage is a craze when you are unmarried”


”All my friends are getting married. i guess  I m just at the age where people give up”


”How quickly 20 years of my age passed, why this first year is looking like 100”

Marriage Quotes funny positive
Marriage Quotes funny positive

Funny Marriage one-liner

”Wedding ring, world’s smallest cufflink”


”Marriage is married within the age”


”Happy wife happy life”


”Sad wife bad life”


”Keep the fights clean , sex dirty”


”love these both killers, wife, and knife”


”’Biggest lesson of life ‘’ wife is always right”

Funny Marriage quotes
Funny Marriage Quotes

Funny Marriage Quotes in Hindi

”Ya janna boht zaruri hay , ya shadi or barbadi dono ham avaaj kiyun hain”

”यह जानना महत्वपूर्ण है कि विनाश और विवाह में एक ही ध्वनि क्यों है”


”apanee pahalee raat mein aap donon darate hain, aur yah ekamaatr din hai jab aap donon darate hain to pooree jindagee aap bhayabheet rahenge”

”अपनी पहली रात में आप दोनों डरते हैं, और यह एकमात्र दिन है जब आप दोनों डरते हैं तो पूरी जिंदगी आप भयभीत रहेंगे”


”main aur meree patnee 22 saal se khush the phir hamane shaadee kee”

”मैं और मेरी पत्नी 22 साल से खुश थे फिर हमने शादी की”


”sukhee jeevan bahare pati aur andhee patnee ke beech ho sakata hai”

”सुखी जीवन बहरे पति और अंधी पत्नी के बीच हो सकता है”


”shaadee yah hai ki meetha khaane vaale ko pachhataava hoga aur jo nahin khaega vah nishchit roop se pachhataega”

”शादी यह है कि मीठा खाने वाले को पछतावा होगा और जो नहीं खाएगा वह निश्चित रूप से पछताएगा”


funny marriage quotes in Hindi
Funny marriage quotes in Hindi

Funny Marriage Quotes in Tamil

”Tirumaṇa viṣam cāppiṭa vēṇṭām, ataṟku patilāka uṇmaiyāṉa viṣam cāppiṭa”

”திருமண விஷம் சாப்பிட வேண்டாம், அதற்கு பதிலாக உண்மையான விஷம் சாப்பிட”


”Ciṟanta tirumaṇam ceviṭu kaṇavaṉ maṟṟum kuruṭṭu maṉaivi iṭaiyē uḷḷatu”

”சிறந்த திருமணம் செவிடு கணவன் மற்றும் குருட்டு மனைவி இடையே உள்ளது”


”Tirumaṇamākāta oru varuṭattiṟku orupōtum cellātīrkaḷ, nīṅkaḷ tirumaṇamākāmal 20 makiḻcciyāṉa āṇṭukaḷ vāḻalām”

”திருமணமாகாத ஒரு வருடத்திற்கு ஒருபோதும் செல்லாதீர்கள், நீங்கள் திருமணமாகாமல் 20 மகிழ்ச்சியான ஆண்டுகள் வாழலாம்”


”Tirumaṇam eṉpatu muṭivukaḷaiyum camaracattaiyum koṇṭu, maṉaivi eṭukkum muṭivukaḷ maṟṟum kaṇavaṉ camaracam”

”திருமணம் என்பது முடிவுகளையும் சமரசத்தையும் கொண்டு, மனைவி எடுக்கும் முடிவுகள் மற்றும் கணவன் சமரசம்”


”Maṉaivi maṟṟum kaṇavaṉ ākiyōr vāḻkkai iraṇṭu ṭayarkaḷ āṉāl nilai iru ṭayarkaḷ ṭayarākavum, maṟṟoṉṟu kāraip pōṉṟatu alla”

மனைவி மற்றும் கணவன் ஆகியோர் வாழ்க்கை இரண்டு டயர்கள் ”ஆனால் நிலை இரு டயர்கள் டயராகவும், மற்றொன்று காரைப் போன்றது அல்ல”

fuunny Marriage quotes in Tamil
funny marriage quotes in tamil








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